why wy?

one of my bestest mates got married sunday night and while it was a traditional wedding, there were plenty of laughs to be had. A chinese wedding is traditionally a dawn to dusk thing, with the poor couple rushing from one place to the next, standing in the boiling sun trying not to melt during photo taking sessions, many rounds of drinking over dinner and then, finally, they have to start making grandchildren that very night.

There's a relatively civilised custom called the tea ceremony, which actually involves drinking tea. So your elders (mum, dad, grandparents, older siblings) sit in a chair and the newly married couple have to serve them tea, and address them as grandma, grandpa et al now that they are part of the family. The best part is that they get red packets of money in return but it can become a relatively expensive cup of tea for the giver. The bride sometimes gets presented with jewellery, family heirlooms if you are lucky, but these can be very ugly at times.

Then, there's a uncivilised activity where the groom has to bargain for the bride, he has to pay an auspicious number to take his bride away. This can range from $88 to $8888 (people like 8s). The girl's friends are in the house, the groom and his friends are outside, and the groom gets to go inside if he and his buddies perform a series of stunts. Usually, there is a disgusting drink involved (raw egg, coffee, chilli powder), some physical activity (gaining items, dunking someone in the pond) and plenty of grovelling.

These days, it is a formality more than anything. I mean, you're not going to quibble about money when the dinner's booked, guests are turning up.

I still don't like the practice though.

In the first place, it's a more sophisticated version of being traded for cattle.

Second, the games can often get out of hand. The groom's buddies actually tried to dismantle the gate and sort of broke it, when one of the bride's friends slammed into it. And this was because she was holding on to a baseball bat, one of the items the guys were supposed to get. To be fair, the bat was being wielded in a threatening fashion by the ladies a while earlier. And then the guys took someone from the bride's side hostage and threatened to dunk him in the pond instead...

now you know why wars start.

Third, I have actually heard a story where the groom when, what, so much? Okay see ya later and walked away. A very frantic bride and mother in law called him half an hour later.

So I will not be observing this custom when i get married, unless the money goes to charity and if my aikido buddies are not on joe's side.