why wy?

It was the 3rd prize in the office party - although prize is not really the right word to use, because all the prizes were gifts from newsmakers to journalists that we had declare to the office (to remove the stain of bribery), or leftover reader freebies.
I was hoping to trade for a phone prize, but since all of them were really old, the lure of cheap roadside thai food proved too overwhelming, even if i have to do some official hand shaking and press thingies in the day.

And it was also the thought that most people would jump at the chance of going, and here i was, trying to push it off to someone else like a recycled present.

singlish lesson #1
auntie -
1. your relative, an aunt. 2. any elder female person, usually at least 10 years older than you or in their 40s and up. It can be used as an insult, when a young person calls someone of the same age or slightly older an auntie. Are you saying I'm old? Which leads us to 3. A style of dressing associated with elderly women. Usually a loose printed shirt with pants, sometimes matching, sometimes not. Implies being old fashioned.
Eg: wahlau, even that auntie has an ipod.
note: uncle can be used the same way, although most prefer to use ah pek, which is hokkien for old man.

wahlau -
hokkien exclaimation, equivalent to oh my god.

rotan -
1. A really thick cane they use to whip people in prison. It's the penalty for some sex offences, including sex with persons under 16.
2. The girl looks under 16. (explained fully below)

smoking -
1. act of puffing on a cigarette, cigar, reefer etc. 2. very hip, eg the joint was smokin'. Very american. 3. to make stuff up as you go along in an attempt to sound intelligent, creating confusion among the higher ups, like a smoke screen in war. eg He smoked his way through his finals, or I smoked my boss on that report.

I had dinner with an old friend (not ah pek) from uni, and we talked about work (too much), the HR department (bunch of idiots) and girls (he's single). Trying to determine what his type was, I pointed to a couple of girls who were better than average, in my opinion.
"you need to get your glasses fixed."
"sure rotan."
"too skinny."
finally, we saw someone tall and sophisticated, in a hurry for her next appointment, and he agreed she was "not bad'.
me: er, sorry, i don't know anybody like that.
For all my upset, tall and sophisticated friends reading this, you are probably spoken for.